Somebody Goin' To Emergency

I'm reading a book on anger. Actually, 2 books. The first is written by this Buddhist monk and it has a lot of stuff in there about being conscious of every breath and every step and controlling how much anger is embedded in the food you eat (a frustrated chicken that can't move in its cage probably stews its tender breasts in a broth of hate and anger, his thinking goes). Obviously I'm not getting as much out of that.

The other is written by a couple psychologists, Midwesterners, Christians, down-to-earth folk it seems. I'm digging the 2nd one a little more. It's called "Letting Go of Anger" by Ron Potter-Efron and Pat Potter-Efron. I'm not very far into it yet, but there's a group of statements in the Introduction that I was dwelling on today. Specifically the following statements:

1. Anger is an accurate signal of real problems in a person's life.
2. The goal is to solve problems, not just to express anger.
3. Anger is temporary. It can be relinquished once an issue is resolved.

(There's a few more, but lest I plagiarize their entire volume, I'll leave the rest out as they don't really apply. You should really buy the book if you're having anger problems.)

So anyway, I guess that's the problem I'm having. I'm expressing my anger these days just to express some anger, and in some ways to pass shame onto those I love. Or, as the authors state, "You made me feel awful, so I'm gonna hurt you back." Very infantile this brain of mine. But a point remains that in classifying your anger in this way, and in responding to it with the passing of shame from one person to another, you're not responding to the accurate signal of real problems, and you're not using it to solve problems either. You're just passing the anger around the room. This is why New Yorkers are so angry I think. We're all just passing the anger back and forth from one to another.

So I just wanted to share that thought. My anger is a result of real problems, which I've done a pretty bad job working on lately. The problems go unsolved, or in my case get actively worse, while I stew in anger, or pass it around, or make everyone close to me generally feel bad about themselves and their relationship with me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that people are lucky to be friends with me.

Anyway, that's all. I take Step 3 on Monday. I'm just procrastinating really. Also, READING FOR FUN! That's a cool thing to do. Also learning. Also Wild Sweet Orange tazo tea. It's a blast from the past Board-studying days.